I've long been a fan of John Nicholson's column on Football365, but this time he exceeded himself...
Read it here.
"He looks like a creature of Middle Earth with funny little ears and a globular head. His skin seems strange like a shape-shifter who has not quite got his 'human' right yet. His eyes look unworldy and seem to peer from behind his face like a pair of eyes moving behind a painting in Scooby Doo."